I was so small. Staggering around a giant world
I wanted to feel big.
The cake said “eat me” - gave me meaning, opened up
a brand new door.
and ate, until sponge splattered through my hair and icing
rolled down my hot wrists.
My body grew. Skin turned to flour, my brain became
a broken egg. Was I
controlling the cake?
Jam pulsed through me like blood; sugar
infected my bones. Was the cake controlling me?
I ingested everything, yet felt
nothing. A slice of me always cut away.
I crumbled beneath the weight of my obsession;
the cost of the cake.
Never big enough; the door always
out of reach.
I couldn’t bear to stare into the looking glass and see
my bulging flesh.
Deep down the rabbit hole, life is blown
I can’t replace
I’m spinning with the cogs of time
squashing cavities into my swollen mouth - yet not even
the sand timer can fill me up.
Minutes were edible,
everything digestible in small doses - and hours spent down here
were truly delicious.
Words: Joely Campbell
Image source: an extract from 'Alice' (1988) directed by Jan Svankmajer